‘Can you feel it? I smell snow, London.’
I quit smoking and I am feeling like performing my best blowjob to every man who talks to me smelling like sigarettes.
I am quitting smoking and I feel like staring for hours at b\w portraits of models vanishing in blurry smoke.
I lust the flavour of nicotine, on everyone’s skin.
‘I am doing this for my mother, you know, she told me it has been one year since I stopped taking care of myself. She wrote me this email, she reminded me I have to love myself to start loving someonelse, and God knows how much I need to feel something right now.
So here I am. Quitting my Camel and biting my nails and eating twice I was used to. ‘
‘ I just missed your heart’
I pleasured myself with a masterpiece of a movie a couple of nights ago, ’Hanna’.
A fourteen year old girl programmed to be a perfect soldier, with no fear, no pain, no regret and no emotions at all.
I think the movie wasn’t suppose to make me think, but indeed it did.
She had the same big blue eyes of Nicole, the kind of soul’s mirrors you can’ t spot any reflections in and you feel bound to dig inside.
Hanna had no soul, Nicole had so much to feel for them both.
Hanna reminded me of someone I know.
There is no happy-ending so I have to end this blog post, quickly.
And I have to smoke.